Curious trends in packaging

Here at the 19 Minutes World Media Headquarters, we're constantly on the lookout for entertaining text on the various items of food and clothing we're hoarding, just in case a hurricane finds its way to northern Arizona. And as in the past, we're happy to pass along some of these highlights to you.

With the NHL hockey season underway, we're happy to outfit our 16-month old daughter in her spiffy Vancouver Canucks ball cap from the "NHL Kids" collection. You wouldn't think there are many ways that a 16-month old girl would look like an actual professional hockey player. But fortunately, we're assured by makers of the hat - a company called "Annco" - that this is, in fact, a professional model. Frankly, this is kind of suprising, since even the NHL's smallest players, such as Brian Gionta and Martin St. Louis, are 5'7" and 5'9" respectively, and are thus unlikely to have the same hat size as a 16-month old. And the smallest player on the Canucks is 5'11" and 185 pounds (that would be one Brendan Morrison of someplace called "Pitt Meadows, B.C."), so he's probably not going to call up and ask for his hat back.

An aside: The Minnesota Lynx of the WNBA (Women's National Basketball Association) do have a 5'4" player in Kristi Harrower. Her nickname is apparently "Shrimpy Shrimp." This has little to do with anything, but we just ran across it and thought it was vaguely interesting.

Moving over to the pantry, we have a few packages of Thai Kitchen's single-serve size Pad Thai "noodle cart" meals on hand. They purport to be easily made in 5 minutes, though the warning message on the plastic cover has us a little baffled:

MICROWAVABLE NOT FOR COOKING

We briefly considered putting it in our microwave blender, but thought the peanut sauce might gum up the works.

And finally, since Enlightened News directors love Emerald Nuts, we have a tin of Cashew Halves and Pieces on hand. But again, we were stopped in our tracks by the warning message informing us that they were

Manufactured in a facility that processes tree nuts and peanuts.

Meaning that if we're allergic to nuts, we probably shouldn't, well, eat nuts.

We'll try to keep you up to date on further packaging developments as events warrant. But first, we're going to go investigate why Mr. Bubble bubble bath includes the instruction "Keep Dry" on its label, and whether "Stoned Wheat Thins" violate truth-in-packaging laws.