Monday, March 21, 2005

They're the Red *Sox*, for crying out loud

So, Coughing Fest '05 continues around the 19 Minutes household. Here at work, I've taken up the hobby of spitting phlegm into my trash can, which is actually something of an improvement (for me, anyway) from the weekend, when the area phlegmish population decided to congregate at the back of my throat. In any case, the cold, combined with the New Bedtime Strategy we're employing for 9-month old Sylvi, gave me plenty of TV time over the weekend.

A couple of observations follow. [Actually, it'll likely be more than two, but it seems that here in Arizona, people believe "a couple" to be interchangeable with "a few", as witnessed by the following verbatim dialogue, which occurred at a local fast food restaurant, which we won't name, except to note that it rhymes with Lentucky Fried Chicken:

Me: I'd like a couple of your two-piece meals, please.

11-year old behind the counter: Okay. And how many would you like?

Me: Um, that'd be two. Four pieces of chicken altogether.

11-yr old: Okay.

Me: And a couple of the chocolate parfaits.

11-yr old: Okay, I think we only have the chocolate.

Me: Uh, yeah. That'd be fine.

11-yr old: And how many of those do you need?

Yeah, this is what I get for making my annual trip to KF.. er, LFC.]

So, back to this weekend's TV observations. Through my cold medicine-induced haze at 3:00 am Sunday, it seemed that QVC has apparently added a wacky late night "chat" show on weekends, replete with a cheesy laugh track and applause. Normally, I have a weird affection for QVC. The hosts are perky, and I'm always amazed at their ability to wax eloquently for hours about some of the most hideous ceramic figurines imagineable. But between the vaguely-scuzzy host, the woman demonstrating the device that helps you fasten bracelets, and the way-too-tanned elderly guy applying hairspray to everyone, it kind of felt like a pornography roundtable, or one of those infomercials for men's sexual enhancers that constantly refer to "that special male part", as though it's a tremendous inside joke that only sophisticated infomercial viewers will get. Um, anyway, after a half-hour of "Seriously Late on QVC", I was feeling unclean enough that I was grateful for a return to the hideous figurines.

The Red Sox played the Dodgers in a Spring Training game on ESPN today. I don't really have a lot to say on that subject except to note that Boston's bright red jerseys are about as ugly as it's possible for a sports uniform to get, save perhaps for the 1976 White Sox (or the '78 Astros, or the '77 Padres, or even the '77 Pirates... okay, maybe it's not the ugliest ever, but it is ugly).

Discovery Health continues to add to its "Things You Hope Will Never Happen to You" genre, with tonight's well-publicized airing of "When Anesthesia Fails". [And while we're at it, a tip of the hat to the author of last week's comment about my Robitussin-related blog, which noted the risk it (the Robitussin, not, presumably, the blog posting) posed to the phenomenon that is cervical mucus. It's great, the information that's out here in blog land...]

And finally, we note the demise of a once-vaguely-useful TV channel: CNN Headline News, which officially jumped the shark on Friday afternoon, when it added an exclamation point to the headline: "BREAKING NEWS: TERRY SCHIAVO'S FEEDING TUBE REMOVED!"

I'll be getting back to my trash can now...

1 comment:

Carol Davidson said...

Are you going to be mentioning "cervical mucous" in each blog post?

Please say yes, because I'm lonely and don't get out much.