Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Product 271

Well, the computer ate up an especially thoughtful post last night, all about the heretofore unexplored connection between international soccer and grocery shopping.

(Actually, it's a little unfair to blame it on the computer. More accurately, we can blame it on the stupor following a late-day caffeine crash. Thinking we were closing another Internet Explorer window, we clicked on the "x" icon in the corner of the screen and instantly lost 35 minutes' worth of genius. But the other window, which contained important baseball scores, thankfully stayed open.)

So this left us with nothing to do but pad downstairs to drown our sorrows in a bowl of Product 19. I like Product 19, partly because it's crunchy and sprayed with dozens of useful vitamins and minerals, but moreso, I think, because it has a deliciously pointless name. Most cereals at least give you some sense for what you'll find in the box: Wheaties are, presumably, made from some sort of wheat byproduct. Cheerios are, at least, shaped like "O"s. Count Chocula accurately prognosticates that what's inside tastes like chalk.

But the food technologists at Kellogg's apparently decided all the good names (Kix, Quisp, etc.)had already been taken, so they had no other choice than to name their product after a random number that would someday be worn by 1970s Red Sox outfielder Fred Lynn.

It was a similar thought process, seemingly, that led the Clorox people to name a product "Formula 409". (They claim the name is a tribute to how many tries their scientists made before deciding they had created the "ultimate cleanser". We should note, though, that this explanation comes from the same people who named a product "Liquid Plumr".)

Alas, this really doesn't edify the 19 Minutes readership on the surprising link between international soccer and grocery shopping. We'll try to down some more caffeine and get back to you on that one. (Hint: Think "World Cup O' Noodles".)

No comments: