If only I could write music

Another band name... I'm thinking this one would be made up of country balladeers:

Tex Deductable and his Cowboy Accountants

Readers' Indigestion

If Readers' Digest ever started a vaguely tasteless anecdotes column, I'd have one for them. Maybe they'll send me $300:

So I'm sent on a mission. To Walgreen's. To buy, er, feminine products. It was a big deal early in marriage, as it is with all men, until they finally come to the following important realization:

Hey! Lighten up! The cashier doesn't think they're for you, you stupid idiot!

So as I say, I've done this before, and I always carry a cheat sheet, because God forbid I buy the products with the wrong set of accoutrements. (Yes, I am aware that the accoutrements matter. Forget I mentioned it.) So I'm at the Walgreen's, carefully studying my little scrap of paper and reconciling it against the labels on the 386,295 slightly different-yet-strangely similar-looking feminine hygiene products (flex-wings? dri-weave cover? menthol?) and I look over to my right, and there's another guy, on the same errand. He's wearing a baseball cap and carrying an instrument case which I believe holds a snaredrum. He looks over at me, laughs, and says: "Man, I got my wife's shit memorized!"

...and Mitchy T on handkerchief

Is there a band out there called "Post-Nasal Drip"? There must be, but I have yet to locate it. Their first album could be called "Mucinex."